fancy chickens

preferablysomethingspecific asked: Sorry this took so long. I wish I could say that I've been thinking about what question to ask you for the past week, but I've really been thinking about the economic implications of medieval fairs... (That is the last time I'm going to complain about that subject. Ever.)

So my question for you has to do with.. murder! Specifically, if you could go back in time and assassinate any one historical figure, who would it be?
Bonus: Could you actually kill someone? Or would it be one of those climactic scenes where the would-be killer, who the audience sees as completely justified in his or her reasons for taking another person's life, looks deep into the victim's panic-stricken eyes, slowly puts down the gun, and walks away?

Ok, so my belated answer on this question is due to a mix of genuine consideration, exhaustion from class prep, and just a smidgen of laziness.  I’ve discussed the question with a few people actually, and honestly- I still don’t have a good answer.  

As I was reading the question, my mind immediately jumped to Hitler- is this a universal response?  I suppose I could have easily thought of Stalin as well.  I grew up in a town that has the highest concentration of Jews in America, and learned about most of the genocide-driven activities in the world specifically through the post-holocaust declaration of “Never Again.”  Although as far as I know I never had a relative directly affected by the holocaust, many of my friends did. 

I remember having several discussions with my best friend at the age of 10, trying to connect our friendship to her identity, and her identity to the holocaust.  Specifically I remember asking her how she could be absolutely sure that she would only marry a Jew, and if we could still be best friends if I was somehow, even distantly related to Hitler (for the record, I am not and the answer was “absolutely not.”)  I don’t know why I was so curious about these things, but it gave me the sense very early on of how serious the issue was if, to my young mind, it could stop my best friend from caring about me or marrying someone outside of “the tribe” (“even if he isn’t jewish but you love him?” “no.”  “but what if you, like, really, realllllly love him?” “NO.”)

On the other hand, I tend to live my personal life with a strict policy of not regretting anything (too much, anyway).  Life as I know it tends to work itself out if I let it.  It’s not a karma thing, but more of a “with everything that happens you grow and change and it’s important to move forward”…thing.  I’ve made stupid mistakes, but I like to think I’ve taken something positive out of every situation (even if that positive thing is the understanding that “sweet jesus, I am never doing THAT again.”)

As much as I like to think that this rule is clean and neat and universal, it’s hard to accept and proclaim that others’ suffering is ever warranted, even if the situation ultimately leads to some positive change in the world (prevention of other suffering?).  Oh lordy this is getting all philosophical- and I’m flipping back and forth between utilitarian reasoning and gut emotional response…oh you and your making me think, Lydia!!!  One of the many reasons I love you.  My mama would say that you’re one smart cookie. 

OK, so короче:

Pros to killing leaders of mass genocide movements:

-Potential saving of many lives and lessening human suffering

Cons to killing LOMGM:

-That whole killing thing…

Oh god, every other con leaves me so conflicted!  I wrote like 5 things down then erased them.   

OK so here’s my answer: I would kill Rasputin.  But only after he was poisoned, shot, beaten and chased…just so that people could say “Damn that Rasputin was like, an invincible badass…too bad Charlotte was even MORE badass!  Charlotte Gund…the new Chuck Norris.”

p.s. OH MY GOD look at the picture of Rasputin on his Wikipedia profile- it’s hilarious.  Imagine him saying “yes…so tell me more about this future supposed ‘communist revolution’”… or better yet “Russia’s Greatest Love Machine, you say?…Yes, yes I will accept that title.”